One week ago, I posted about my 28:53 5K. It felt like a solid achievement, but there was a catch: I was constantly monitoring my Garmin watch, terrified of my own heart rate. Today, I ran a 27:55. Almost a full minute off in one week. The difference? I didn't look at my heart rate once.
The Anxiety of the Numbers
I'm an inherently anxious person. At 36 years old, seeing my heart rate creep up to 150 BPM during a run used to feel downright scary. I would purposefully hold back, convinced that pushing any harder was somehow dangerous or that my body couldn't handle it.
It turns out, those numbers weren't even relatively high for a moderate-to-intense effort. I was just slowing myself down for absolutely no reason. My anxiety was the only thing putting the brakes on my progress.
Trusting the Body (and the Tempo Workout)
This week, following my Garmin's suggested tempo workout, I made a conscious decision: I was just going to trust the pace target and run. No checking the heart rate, no obsessing over the metrics, no preemptive panicking.
When I crossed that imaginary finish line at 27:55, it felt incredible. It was a massive realization that my body is capable of so much more than my anxious mind gives it credit for.
The Perfect Combo: Running and Sobriety
I actually started running when I got sober, and honestly, it's the best combination I could have ever asked for. When you remove alcohol from the equation, you suddenly find yourself with a surplus of time, energy, and—if we're being honest—raw, unprocessed emotions.
To cope, I realized I needed an outlet. I needed that fabled "runner's high."
When you're running, especially when you push past that initial wall of discomfort, your brain floods with endorphins and endocannabinoids. It's a natural, healthy euphoria that completely washes away the stress and anxiety that used to drive me to drink.
Why This Matters for Recovery
If you are on your own sobriety journey and dealing with the inevitable spikes in anxiety that come in the early days (or even years down the line), I can't recommend physical exercise enough.
- It builds confidence: Beating your previous records—even by just a minute—proves that you can improve and grow.
- It forces mindfulness: When you're pushing your physical limits (without over-analyzing the watch), you have to be present in your body.
- It provides an anchor: A training plan gives your week structure, which is crucial when you're forming new, healthy habits.
So, if you're holding back—whether it's in your running shoes, your career, or your recovery—because the "numbers look scary," take a deep breath. Trust the process. Trust your body. Let's run!
"The only limits you have are the limits you believe."
Almost a minute off my 5K in one week just by letting go of anxiety. Running and sobriety are truly the best combination.
