I recently saw this take online:
"Unless you are battling substance abuse you shouldn't be sober in your 20s. Your body is capable of literal warfare, 3 beers isn't going to kill you. You work an office job, you're not building the atomic bomb. Stop being a shut in. Go out. Socialize. Make memories."
This is one of the most dangerous pieces of advice I've ever read. And I know, because I believed it. That mentality is exactly how I became an alcoholic.
"Just a Few Beers" — The Lie That Starts It All
Here's how it actually goes:
It starts with "just a few beers" at a party. Then it's a few beers every weekend. Then it's a few beers after work on Friday. Then Thursday too, because the week was rough. Then Wednesday, because why not? You're young, right? Your body can handle it.
Before you know it, you're drinking every day. Not because you need to, you tell yourself—you just want to. It's social. It's fun. It's what everyone does.
But then something else happens: your hobbies start dying.
I used to play guitar. I used to read. I used to go on hikes and actually enjoy them. Slowly, all of those things became less interesting than drinking. Why pick up the guitar when you could crack open a beer and scroll your phone? Why finish that book when you could meet the guys at the bar?
Everything that wasn't booze-related started to feel pointless. My identity became "the guy who drinks." My social life became "drinking with people." My evenings became "drinking alone."
That's not making memories. That's losing them.
The Myth: Sober People Are Antisocial Shut-Ins
Let's address this idea that sobriety means being a "shut-in" who doesn't socialize or make memories.
This is absurd.
Do you know what actually makes you a shut-in? Hangovers. Wasting every Sunday on the couch because Saturday night "got out of hand." Declining invitations because you're too tired from drinking the night before. Missing morning activities because you can't function before noon.
Sober people go out more. We have energy. We wake up at 6 AM on Saturday and go hiking. We take weekend trips without writing off entire days to recovery. We remember conversations. We're present in moments instead of just getting through them until the next drink.
I've made more genuine memories in sobriety than I ever did drinking. The difference? I actually remember them.
"Your Body Can Handle It"
Sure, your 20-something body can metabolize alcohol better than a 50-year-old's. Congratulations. That doesn't mean it's good for you.
You know what your 20-something body is actually capable of? Building muscle efficiently. Running faster. Learning new skills. Recovering quickly from workouts. Operating on all cylinders with your brain fully intact.
Alcohol undermines all of that. It kills your gains at the gym. It disrupts your sleep. It makes you foggy and slow. It steals your motivation. It adds empty calories. It drains your wallet.
"Your body can handle it" isn't an argument for drinking. It's an argument for not wasting your prime years poisoning yourself when you could be building the best version of yourself.
The Real Advice: Be Fit, Make Money, Make Real Friends
You want to actually live your 20s well? Here's the real advice:
Be fit. It's way easier to get in shape without alcohol sabotaging your workouts, sleep, and nutrition. Every serious athlete knows this. You want to see what your body is really capable of? Try it sober.
Make money. Calculate how much you spend on alcohol in a year. Now add the money you lose to hungover unproductive days, poor decisions, and missed opportunities because you were too tired or too unfocused. Sobriety is a financial cheat code.
Make real friends. This is the big one. If your friendships require alcohol to function, they're not friendships—they're drinking partnerships. Real friends want to see you healthy and thriving. They'll grab coffee with you. They'll go on adventures with you. They'll have conversations you both remember. If someone only wants to hang out when booze is involved, that tells you everything you need to know about the foundation of that relationship.
How Addiction Actually Starts
Here's what the "just have a few drinks" crowd doesn't understand: nobody plans to become an alcoholic.
Nobody wakes up one day and decides "I'm going to let alcohol destroy my relationships, my health, and my potential." It happens gradually. It happens through a thousand small choices that each seem harmless.
It starts with "just a few beers."
It starts with "you're young, have fun."
It starts with "stop being so uptight."
It starts with thinking you're different, that you're in control, that you can stop whenever you want.
The insidious thing about alcohol is that it slowly rewires your brain while convincing you everything is fine. By the time you realize there's a problem, you're deep in it.
If you're in your 20s and you're choosing sobriety—whether you've had problems with alcohol or not—you're not being a "shut-in." You're being smart. You're protecting your future self. You're building habits that will serve you for decades.
The People Who Push You to Drink
Here's an uncomfortable truth: people who pressure you to drink are often uncomfortable with their own relationship with alcohol.
When you choose not to drink, it holds up a mirror. It makes them question their own choices. And instead of sitting with that discomfort, they try to bring you back to their level. "Come on, just one drink" isn't about you—it's about them not wanting to examine their own habits.
Real friends don't pressure you. Real friends say "cool, what do you want instead?" and move on. Anyone who can't accept your choice to not drink has their own issues to work through—that's not your problem to solve.
You're Not Missing Out
The FOMO is a lie.
You're not missing out on anything by being sober except:
- Hangovers
- Regrettable decisions
- Money down the drain
- Brain fog
- Anxiety spirals
- Lost weekends
- Shallow relationships built on shared intoxication
What you gain is:
- Energy
- Clarity
- Better sleep
- More money
- Actual hobbies
- Deeper connections
- Memories you actually remember
- Pride in yourself
The "memories" people make while drunk are mostly just stories about being drunk. "Remember when we were so wasted and..." That's not a memory. That's a blackout with a narrative pasted over it.
Real memories come from real experiences. And you can't have real experiences when you're numbing yourself.
The Bottom Line
If you're young and sober—by choice or by necessity—you're not doing anything wrong. You're not missing out. You're not a "shut-in" or antisocial or boring.
You're ahead of the curve.
You're building a life that doesn't require a substance to feel complete. You're forming relationships based on genuine connection. You're investing in your health, your finances, and your future.
Don't let anyone convince you that you need alcohol to live a full life. That's a lie sold to you by people who can't imagine enjoyment without a drink in their hand.
Go out. Socialize. Make memories. Actually make them—sober, present, and fully alive.
That's not boring. That's freedom.
If you're on this journey, know you're not alone. Tools like Sober Tracker can help you stay accountable and connected to a community that gets it. Your 20s—and every decade after—are yours to build however you want. Choose wisely.
